I’ve decided that I really know very little. Sometimes I trick myself into thinking I know stuff, but then I’m always brought back into focus sharply and abruptly. I am learning to be glad for all these learning opportunities that find their way into my life. After all, I wouldn’t be learning if it wasn’t for those things.
Sometimes I think I know what I’m doing with my life. And I try, try, try…..and buck the system and work hard and then I realize that what I’ve been trying to do isn’t really what I’m supposed to be doing at all. Or that what I’m placing so much importance on really isn’t the thing. Or what I’m so busy convincing myself that I don’t need or don’t need to do is really what I’m supposed to be doing/facing. But it sure takes a good conk on the head to make me see what’s what. Sometimes it takes repeated, continuos conks……
But all these things are good. And they help me. And I’m glad.
About 10 years ago I still didn’t know what a great support system my family could be. They are the same wonderful people they ever were: I’ve changed. As recently as a year ago I still wasn’t sure that God loved me and cared for me and directed my life. He’s still the same as He ever was: I’ve changed. Even about a month ago, I wasn’t sure I could do anything well enough to support myself. I still have the same skills I had before, but I’ve changed my thinking. And I’m looking for new opportunities to broaden my skill set and to sharpen the existing ones.
No, I haven’t started making enough money yet, but I will. And soon. And the more I do the things I’m supposed to do and stop trying to go in directions that aren’t open to me, the sooner it will happen.
But I don’t pretend to really know anything beyond a few simple truths.
Things like:
quick recap for the kids:
remember that just cuz i don’t know anything, doesn’t mean i know nothin’, God will bring you through, almost everything in this world is excess fluffy cotton candy……search out the real food….
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX (…more than you…….)
mom