So, Heather was all, ‘Leah! You’re making aprons? Aprons that turn into BONNETS!?’ And I knew what she wanted. I could smell it all the way from Utah, land of the Pioneers. She wanted one of my new apron-bonnets. Bonnet-aprons. One of my Bonprons(R)(TM)(C). As you can imagine, I’m a little reluctant to let them go. These past few days, feeling the fabric, looking at the buttons and brightly-colored rickrack…well, I knew at some point I was going to have to give them away but I kept pushing those thoughts from my mind and continued throwing kisses to the stack of thread. The lovely, lovely thread.

Knowing what a craft-lover Heather is, I really am happy to trade with her. She’s trading me for one of the corn husk dolls she makes. It’s a pattern that’s been passed down to her from her great-great-great granny. She uses the natural corn silk for the doll hair and dried up corn centipedes (the tiny white ones that eat the corn) for the eyes after carefully placing them in a circular shape and setting them on the warm, packed dirt to dry out back by the well. The tiny, shriveled centipede legs make really beautiful eyelashes on the dolls.

And her begging. Brothers and sisters, it was tough to listen to. The please, please, please and the you know how much my pioneer heritage means to me! and the aprons!? you know I LOVE aprons! I need one of yours for my collection! But it was her pleading that her daughter needed one, in fact, they both needed matching Bonprons(R)(TM)(C), for when they played pioneers in the new fort – that was what finally did me in. I can’t wait to see the photos, both of them with their flat-braided hair tucked inside their bonnets, Jon in his clogs and Chuck playfully teasing the birds with his gun before putting on his smoking jacket and watching BBM.

These special limited first edition Bonprons(R)(TM)(C) are not for sale. No sir EE. They are for trade only, so if you want one, you’re going to have to make something to trade for them or get some supplies like fabric, yarn, RICKRACK, buttons or the like to trade at the craft site. I know you want one. We BOTH know you need one. So, go ahead. Do it.

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8 Comments

  1. Heather wants one so Chuck can wear it on his head.

    Oh, wait; Chuck wears everything on his head.

    I’m surprised we haven’t seen a Croc on his head.

  2. re: crocs.

    i belive chuck wore a croc on one of his feet.

    i’m not sure heather would ever touch one.

    but now, my curiousity has been peaked ever since i started seeing ads for the “new” crocs –
    http://shop.crocs.com/NewProducts.aspx?From=NewProduct

    will she remain anti-croc on principle? will she cave and admit comfort in a less ugly non-croc-looking piece of footware? will i really care what a stranger says about themself on the interwebs?

    all this and more. plus bonprons.

  3. I’m not crafty in the slightest, but I can tell you that I think the pictures of your craftiness are lovely.

    Also, you’re singlehandedly blowing out of the water my theory that people who are crafty cannot be artistic and people who are artistic cannot be crafty. This whole time I thought I was better than all those girls my age who can scrapbook. Now I realize that I was just jealous.

  4. […] Hey, I know! Let’s put me in a covered wagon – the preferred mode of transportation of My People. I can wear the Bonprons I made and some bloomers made of scratchy, low-grade cotton so my knees will get irritated as we go along. I’ll walk and walk and walk and walk aaaaaaand walk. I think there better be falling down in crevasses and storms of many kinds. […]

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