From the girl that brought you an actual case of Cat Scratch Fever, or La maladie des griffes de chat in French where it was first tested, I now bring you Sick Bones.
So, it went down like this:
I got the flu
and then my lung hurt,
and then i couldn’t breathe.
At the hospital:
noticed swelling that I thought was due to my underwire bra. Ha. Not even.
listened to my heart, which was normal
felt my pulse, which was normal
they did a EKG, which was normal
touched me on my ribs under my breast near my heart, decided it was not normal when I tried to fly off the table and almost reflex-punched her.
Ordered an x-ray of my chest, came back normal besides the small pocket of air around my heart and about 40 staples that are imbedded under my right arm from the Cat Scratch Fever episode mentioned earlier, where the doctors removed a large plum-sized lymph node and stapled me back together. Hello!
Ok, I guess the staples are normal, but I don’t know how I feel about having shards of metal inside me. What about the metal detectors at the airport??
And the diagnosis: my ribs were sick. They had caught a virus. It doesn’t matter that you haven’t heard of it before and it sounds like a fake disease….I got it.
Oh, yes. And for you non believers, Cat Scratch Fever IS more than just a song….it’s a real disease
Some of the lyrics to Ted’s song are an out right lie:
I feel no pain
And some are right on:
You know you got it
When youre goin’ insane
It makes a grown *[woman] cry, cry
*liberties taken by this author
Other news:
Working on a speech coming in January about spending time with your kids and cherishing every second. I think I’ve learned a thing or two about that over the past year or so…
Work is good. Almost done with the site re-design for GTI.
Going to have my kids for an entire week starting the 25th. Can’t WAIT.
Working on a painting for my old boss, Teresa. She has been uber-patient.
Learning more about Christ/God.
Loving Mary, Jesus’ mother.
Working on a book proposal for a grant.
That’s about it.