Posted on by leohblooms

I'm Growing a Human

So, funny story.

Joe and I quit trying to have a baby sometime during last year since it didn’t seem to be working out too well. Add to that the fact that my PCOS seems to not really ever give me a clear picture of when I’m going to have my period or when my period is actually happening, since it can start and stop over the course of a few weeks, just in time to start again, and you can see why we are sort of, no, really surprised to find that we’re expecting a human in about 7 months.

Are you ready for the cliché moment?
I thought I had some kind of bug that was going around.

But one night, after being sick on and off for about two weeks, we went out with a friend and my glass of wine tasted weird. And then the next morning, when my stomach wasn’t really upset and I should have been able to eat breakfast fine, the coffee made me want to hurl. And then I was suspicious. Because, dude. I like wine and coffee.

I took a home pregnancy test. And then I did 5 more, different brands, because I kept not believing it and thought that somehow, I was getting all the broken ones and the next one, the REAL one, would tell me I wasn’t. But it didn’t happen.

Last week, I was spotting and having lower backaches, which historically for me has been a sign of impending miscarriage. But by Thursday, that was all gone and in it’s place is this completely irrational emotional behavior, which I guess was rearing it’s ugly head as early as last weekend when I freaked out over the BBQ. It went something like this:

Me: Devon, we need eggs! Go get some eggs!
The world as we know it will end if I don’t have eggs to make potato salad!

Joe: Dev says he has to finish putting together the BBQ so he doesn’t want to go.
Why are my wife’s eyes so wide open? Is that foam on the side of her mouth?

Me: But I need eggs!
Why aren’t you offering to go get the eggs? Don’t you love me??

Joe: Well, what do you need the eggs for?
uuuuuuhhhhh?

Me: What do mean? I want to make potato salad!
How dare you ask me what I need eggs for?? I NEED EGGS!!!

Joe: *sigh* I guess I could go.
*SIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHH*

Me: You know what? Forget it! I don’t need eggs. I just won’t make potato salad.
OH REALLY???? Oh, no you won’t. Not with that attitude, mister!

Joe: Seriously, I’ll go get some eggs.
Dude.

Me: NO! I don’t want eggs! It doesn’t matter!
Why are you trying to force me make potato salad?? Why do you hate me and treat me like a slave?

Joe: Leah. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do here. Do you want me to go buy the eggs or not?
Who is this woman?

Me: I can’t believe you are asking me that! I can’t BELIEVE you don’t know what I want you to do!!!
He will never understand me! Our marriage is over!

Joe: Um…..I’m going to go upstairs for a minute.
I need space away from this demon woman.

Me: Oh, fine! Ok, kids. I guess we have to have our BBQ without Joe!
He hates me!

Even as the hyper-ridiculous verbiage was spewing out of my mouth, I knew it was dumb and making no sense! But my mouth – she just kept going. Joe came back downstairs in 3 minutes and helped the kids who were cowering in the corner to escape the room unnoticed where they all asked him what had happened to their mother. Yes, that day was super cool.

I can’t eat enough watermelon and the smell of chives makes me want to hurl. And if the store doesn’t have my favorite kind of shampoo, I will cry. I’ll also cry when my favorite pair of jeans is in the washer and I can’t wear them. And when the cell phone commercial comes on because that is just so sweet. And if there is any program on any station on the television that includes anything remotely connected to babies.

But not when I allow the sandwich bread to become soggy. No, in that case, I’ll just laugh and laugh and laugh. Until you wish I would cry and knock it off.

I suppose we could still lose this baby. Neither of us would be surprised because it has happened twice in the past few years. But we’re trying to project Positivity.

62 Replies to “I'm Growing a Human”

  1. Pingback: ArtLung Blog : Archives : » Listening, Thinking, and Gestating.

  2. How did the potato salad turn out?

    Very exciting news – Congratulations – and smoke signals, little rows of flags, tentative knitting, carrier pigeons, morse code and tiny tiny muffins with letters on the top

  4. All unused positivity hurtling through space to you right now…

    and fingers, toes, legs, arms, saggy boobs, and butt cheeks crossed for you.

    and I’d like to know why my conversations with my husband have all sounded exactly like that, when I’m not pregnant. What’s my excuse?!

  11. OH Leah! I am happy for you!!!! I swear to god on a holy (or unholy) bible that this word exchange very well could have come from me and my beloved. I was a serious nut-case when preggers. In fact, he isn’t sure he ever wants to be with me pregnant again.

    This is basically why I love you so. It’s like staring into the pond to see my shadow 🙂

    Sending many positive thoughts and love your way. I could cry just reading this post.

    For whatever reason, I’m certain that b/c of this post I will have a good day.

  12. Incidentally, an additional dialogue that day, just a little later on, was…

    Devon: What’s up with Mom?

    Joe: She’s really hormonal right now. We just gotta love her and stay out of the way.
    Joe: Really hormonal.
    Joe: Did I mention she was hormonal?

  17. WWWHHHHAAAATTTTTT????? Wow, wow, wow, wow!!!

    Oh, no! This means you probably won’t get to come to the ranch in May…

    OH, enough about me. I’m thrilled for you, Joe, AND your kids. Having a baby with much older sibs is a wonderful thing,

    And oh, boy, will I EVER be praying for your little one…and the wonderful, beautiful, talented, kind incubator he/she’s growing in. 🙂 Take care of yourself. Sniff peppermint and lemon rind when you feel yucky. Sleep when you can. And just know you have a lot of bloggy friends pullin’ for you.

  20. Congratulations to you and Joe on your good fortune!

    I like to think that babies replenish the world’s supply of joy and compassion. Thank you for doing more than your share!

  21. You can tell that you’re having a baby in a new era because I remember crying over long distance commercials (way before cell commercials ;). Congrats to you both, Leah & Joe!!! I will say a prayer for your little one and another that your life is chive free for the next 7 months.

  22. Congratulations! Sending good wishes and loads of POSITIVITY through the computer right now! Stick, baby, stick!

    And, I’m making potato salad today, and I wasn’t planning on it, but hey, eggs sound pretty good.

  24. Holy MOLY! What a great surprise! (Took you long enough to figure it out.) 🙂

    I would send you some eggs for a “Knocked-Up Present”, but I’m afraid they wouldn’t survive the trip…

  28. me too, me too… on the congratulations and positive thoughts, that is!! You two are such wonderful parents that it makes me tear up just thinking about it. This will be one lucky baby!!

    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

    S-

  31. WWWWWWWWOOOOOOHHHHHHHOOOOOOOO! Congratulations Leah, what wonderful news. EVERYTHING crossed here, sending good vibes your way.

  39. potato salad is freaking awesome. like, the best food on earth. especially with eggies.

    haha i love you.

    well, not like that. or that. but that entry was awesome, and i am sending you good baby vibes and i can’t wait to read more about this crazy journey you’re embarking on. good luck leah + family!!!

  41. Congratulations and ditto, ditto, ditto. Best wishes and looking forward to reading all about the journey!

  44. Ah! Congratulations! I suspect from the many pregnancy tests that never come up positive for me that I will probably be equally obsessive and take every pregnancy test I can get my hands on until they are forcibly removed from my clutches and the doctor swears on a thousand Bibles that it’s true.
    Congratulations again!!

  45. oh. my. freak. out.

    Leah!

    I am absolutely thrilled for you and GAH – I will be sending you all the Positivity possible from my little ol’ square of space in Dallas.

    Though, I have to admit, I’m a little miffed that your conversation about the eggs with
    Joe was only because you are pregnant. But only because that seems like a fairly normal conversation for me to have. And now I’m wondering whether I should go back on the meds.

  49. Congrats!! And now your potato salad woes all make sense, right?

    Lets trade positive vibes, OK? (I just found out I might be preggo, too, but I haven’t shared it on my site yet. Shhhh…)

  51. If there’s anything I know, it is the feeling you’re feeling now. That happy/terrified/optimistic/pessimistic feeling. So, here’s a hug. I’m happy for you. Hang in there. And if you want? Tell me what shampoo you use and I’ll send you a case of it. 🙂

  57. Yay! Congratulations to you and your husband!

    I’ve been looking for a reason why I cry at any remotely sappy commercial– perhaps I’ve been pregnant all these years…

  58. CONGRATULATIONS! i hope everything goes super smoothly!

    i remember when i was pregnant with my first son, i used to work second shift and i was driving home one night when a bon jovi song came on. it was ‘living on a prayer’, i believe. by the time the song was over i was sobbing. SOBBING! over bon jovi! i thought i’d lost my mind. and it didn’t help when i came home and told hubby about it. he just laughed and laughed. he still teases me about it to this day, and it happened five years ago.

  59. Hi Leah,

    I’ve been so busy with work and what not that I’ve fallen so far behind on both blogging and reading blogs, I’ve received letters from the King of the Blogosphere asking me to vacate. So when I was checking tonight, it was nice to check in with my favorites.

    Your title made me laugh really hard. And your post makes me wish the best to you and Joe. I hope everything goes according to your best laid plan 🙂

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