I can’t wait until I’ve found my home and moved into it. Through the generosity of my friends and family, I have had a roof over my head from week to week and haven’t had to spend even one night outside in my car. I have been super blessed. I do have the best family and friend network ever.
Although I’m just a bundle of fun to be with and anyone in their right mind would want me for a house-guest, I can tell when my welcome is wearing on the thin-ish side purely from the days-at-one-place formula.
If I’ve been able to use the same towel for more than three days in a row, my days-in-one-place value is equal to 3. If I’ve not only been able to use the same towel for three days, but also been able to clean dishes up from the dinner table at least two times during the same three day period, the DIOP value rises to 4 although the actual amount of days is the same. If I’ve also taken two to five phone messages in that same period for members of the household who actually live there, my DIOP value rises to 6. If those family members take two to five phone messages for me, my DIOP rises to 9. There are other factors which continue to raise the level, too many of them to name here, but I know if the DIOP level gets to be over 10 then I have only one or two days left. I’ve never actually been asked to leave anyone’s home yet, but I’m sure it’s been a close call more than once or twice. The odds of that happening only increase with the more weeks I don’t have my own home.
I dream of the days when I’ll be able to empty my own wastebasket or wipe my own toothpaste scum from the sink. Getting to wash my own dirty dishes and sit in my underwear on the couch while I pay my electric bill are only mirages I have from time to time when I dare to let my mind wander a little…..
I hope by the first of next week I will be able to report that I have my very own residence with my very own shower mildew (well, not right away…) and have burnt at least one hastily concocted meal to an unidentifiable chunk of charcoal.
Best to all of you,
quick recap for the kids:
your mom’s good friends and family members might very well be insane or slightly slow because they keep letting me stay with them, i flunked pre-algebra in school and still manage to make up my own formula simply by being homeless; strangely, I miss scum in the sink to call my very own, still unable to cook but don’t worry, i’ll buy frozen meals when you come over.
I love you times 7.