Last night, while trying to avoid more election coverage, because OK WE GET IT: things are changing and it’s about damn time, Joe and I stumbled on a gem. Were you aware that Firstname Mr. Lastname T has his own series? It’s called I Pity the Fool. Mr. T goes to places he’s needed like a dance class and to get a pedicure, and he straightens those fools out. Bonus: a slow-mo of Mr. T turning an entire circle on one foot. I think they call it a pirouette?

On the official TV Land website, you can find helpful tips from Mr. T. He’ll remind you to brush your teeth and to allow your date a chance to speak on your first date. In his birthday message, he reminds you that you aren’t getting any younger, tubby. You can even send that as a message to a dear friend. And my favorite:

Motivation for the New Parents

Are you feeling overwhelm?
Are you feeling in too deep?
You been given a special giff
A special giff that won’t let you sleep!
What did you expect?
It’s a baby!
Of course it goin to be cryin’ all the time!
Now get off your butt and go check that diaper
And congratulation on this bless event.

Seriously, I love Mr. T. So, cut the jibba jabba and go check out his website, fool. He comes in second in my heart only to Hawk, who wins because he has a beautifully coiffed feather scalp cap which I always thought looked mysteriously similar to the chicken feathers us kids had to pluck during those fun, special family times known as ‘Slaughter Day.’

It appears I have a thing for TV men with odd hair choices.

UPDATE: For my friends in other countries (because it appears that this top secret information is not readily available to people outside the USA…..?)

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  1. “Greetings, sucka!”

    None of the videos are available because I’m in the WRONG COUNTRY. Um, I knew that since Target was invented to taunt me from the South.


  2. i’ll second that! while they’re busy in DC swapping desks and suchlike – this should definietly count towards foreign policy!

  3. Mr. T was one of my clients. He lived around the corner from my travel agency and would come in at least once a week to purchase first class tickets for himself and the lady-of-the-week, to go to Vegas.

    Those were the days of bicycle shorts, lots of earrings and at least a hundred thick heavy gold chains.

    I forget what he wore.

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