All the kids came over for dinner last night and it was awesome. Really, really awesome. There was stuff to talk about and lively conversation ensued. There was background music and lots of singing at the table. There was more than enough food and lots of eating. And it was easy and good.
And I felt different. I know that fact has a huge part in all this. I felt different. Not desperate. Not sad. Not upset or feeling gypped. I was present and just enjoying the couple of hours they were there and not wishing for something else – something more.
I think that in response to that, the kids can be different, too, and just enjoy the time as well. Instead of feeling guilty or bad or whatever they’ve felt during the past few months. It was just easy last night.
How much of this has to do with the new medications finally kicking in and how much has to do with the fact that they’ll be here over the Thanksgiving weekend which makes me feel rich in time with them right around the corner – I don’t know. But I do know it was wonderful.