When did I turn into a ma’am? Last time I checked the mirror I swear I was only 19 or so…..
But somehow, I’ve traveled over that bridge (or murky swamp) into adulthood. Gee, it took me long enough to figure that out since really I’m almost 32 and my oldest child is starting high school next year.
But still, it takes me by surprise when the bagger at the grocery store calls me ma’am.
Remember when you were the cool young person at the family reunion? One of the cool people, along with the other cool teenagers in the family….so cool it was hard to even stay in the same room with the old fogies or the stupid young children……so cool you had to even look cool while you slept on the living room floor in the sleeping bag just in case one of the older cool cousins brought home a cute friend of the opposite sex….so cool you couldn’t possibly take part in the talent show without making fun of yourself and everyone else…..so cool you had to make up stories of how un-cool your parents were just to compete with the other made up stories your cousins had…..so cool you would stay lonely out side and peel bark off twigs instead of go inside and play cards with your grandparents even though you wished you did.
Now I’m the ‘old people’ but not the ‘really old people’ since my parents are still alive. But as soon as they go, I’m going to be moving up to that station. I just hope it’s a long time coming. Not just cuz I don’t want to be a ‘really old person’ but because I actually like them and would like to have more time with them. And I want to force my kids to take part in the talent show in front of my parents and cousins even though they make fun of me and themselves. And when I see my kids peeling bark I’ll leave them alone after asking them a mere 20 times to come in and hang out with me and those other un-cool old people. And I hope my kids have some really awful stories to compete with their cousins about how mean I am (even if they are mostly true, in their case….) because I do love them and insist that they tell me where they are and when they’ll be home and who they’ll be with……
I learned something else tonight. Again. (I seem to learn the same things over and over again…..what’s up with that??)
And this is what it is: It feels like life sucks most of the time but it actually doesn’t. It’s just that the really sucky parts tend to stick out the most in my mind when the are happening. But really, the good far outweighs the bad and I know that. I just have a hard time remembering when it feels like it sucks. But I’m working on that.
quick recap for the kids:
your mom is older than she thought but probably not as old as you think she is, the sentimentality factor is strong tonight and i’m rambling about family and reunions and other stuff that make your mind buzz into outer space, life doesn’t really suck it just feels like it alot. and i love you tons.