The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbooks Giveaway
Time’s Up! The winners are Katie and Christine. Thank you to everyone for playing!
The good people from the Worst-Case Scenario series have sent me some books to give away. These books are pretty fun. They have useful information in them targeted to a certain group a well as lots of humor. The day I got them, my boys pulled out the Life book and read for about an hour over each others shoulders, chuckling and making guy noises. I think that means they enjoyed it. (Check out their website here.)
Today’s giveaway is for the Life book and the Junior Edition book.
Life –
Bigfoot Sighting
Remain still. If you are carrying a camera, slowly retrieve it, use manual (not digital) zoom setting and take as many photos at the highest resolution possible. The creature will likely flee quickly once it is aware of your presence. Do not pursue – it may behave unpredictably if chased.
Hands Smell Garlicky
Rub your hands across a stainless-steel utensil under running tap water
Junior Edition –
How to Survive a Bad Report Card
If your flattery before handing over the report card is too over-the-top your signer will smell something’s up. Find a medium-sized compliment and give it with a smile. “You look like you’ve lost weight.”
How to Deal with Poo on Your Shoe
Do the Scrap, Scrap, Twist
To win, just leave a comment and tell me which book you’d like and why. Winners will be announced on Monday!
How To Craft – Sew an A-line Skirt (in 1 Afternoon!)
It’s hot. I mean, really hot. And I get tired of wearing jeans. And I don’t own any light-fabric, easy-going-long skirts that are perfect for summer. So, I made one. And you can, too! The fun thing about this skirt is you can make it for a toddler or all the way up to women’s plus size. It’s all the same pattern. And, don’t worry if you don’t have a lot of experience. If you can sew a basic line on a sewing machine, you are fully equipped to make this A-line skirt.
A-Line Skirt
Experience level – Beginner
Supplies –
For pattern – Measuring tape, straightedge ruler, pen, paper cutting scissors, tape or staples and 2 paper bags or wrapping paper or brown package mailing paper.
For skirt – 2-3 yards of washed and dried (to allow shrinking) fabric (depending on how long you want your skirt) (If you’re making a skirt for a small person, measure the length, double that number and add 3 inches. That is how much of a yard you need.) and matching thread, 2-3 yards of matching double-fold bias tape, good fabric cutting scissors, no-fray sewing glue, pins and a large safety pin. EDITED TO ADD – For this skirt, the fabric should be a lighter flowy cotton and not a stiffer fabric like shirting fabric, which holds its shape.
Step One – Take Your Measurements.
Take the tape measure and measure around your waist which is the smallest part of your body above your hips. Don’t suck your tummy in, just stand normally. Write that number down. Now, measure your hips/bum. Really, we want the biggest part of your lower half, so if it’s your bum, do that, hips, do that. Write that number down. Place the measuring tape at your waist on either your left or right side going downward and measure the distance from your waist to where you took your hips/bum measurement. Write that number down. Last, measure your length. If you want a floor length skirt, measure from your waist to your ankles. If you want a knee skirt, measure to there etc. Write that number down.
And now for a little math. (Don’t worry, it’s not hard and you can use a calculator if you want. I’ll do an example for you below.
-Take your waist number and add 3″. Then, divide that number in 4ths.
–If my waist number is 38, then 38+3=41, divided by 4 = 10.25 or 10 and a quarter inches.
-Take your hips number and add 3″. Then divide that number in 4ths.
–If my hips number is 43, then 43+3=46, divided by 4 = 11.5 or 11 and a half inches.
-Take your skirt (knee or floor) length number and add 2″.
Those are your pattern numbers which means now you need a pattern! Which is super easy! Yay!
Step Two – Make Your Pattern
Roll out your wrapping paper (plain back side up) or brown packaging paper or tape/staple two opened brown paper bags together width-wise and create a large rectangle.
You need enough paper to go a little longer than your skirt length. Using the straight edged corner of the top and top left side of the paper, measure in with the straight edge and place a mark for your waist. Measure down the left edge of the paper using the number you measure between your waist and hips and make a mark. Measure in from that mark with the straight edge and make a mark for your hip number.
Last, measure down the left edge of the paper until you reach your length measurement and mark it. Using your straight edge, measure in 28″-30″ and mark it. This is about half the width of a yard of fabric, which come in 45″ or 60″.
Looking at your paper, you should see a slant forming with your marks along the right side of the paper. Using your straight edge, connect those dots and make a nice slanted line. Mark the left long side with the word FOLD. Look! You made a pattern!! So, cut it out and get ready to roll!
Step Three – Cut Your Fabric
Lay your fabric out flat, keeping it folded in half like it comes off the bolt, with the fold on the left. Now bring the bottom up to the top, creating four layers of fabric in a large rectangle. (IF YOU HAVE A PATTERN ON YOUR FABRIC that only goes in one direction, cut your fabric in half at the bottom and make sure to turn one panel over so both panels go the same direction, keeping the folds on the left.) Place your pattern on top of the fabric with the FOLD side snug along the left side and pin in place, putting pins through ALL layers of paper and fabric.
Cut along the pattern, saving fabric remnants for another craft. (Which will be coming in the next few weeks!) Put all the paper clippings in the recycling bin, because we are earth-friendly that way. Unpin the pattern and SAVE the pattern for later. We’re going to be doing a few more skirts with some fun variations and you don’t want to have to make that pattern all over again. Phew.
Step Four – Sew, So Easy
A. With RIGHT sides of fabric together, place one panel on top of the other one, matching up waist and bottom edge. Pin along panel sides, placing pins about 6″-9″ inches apart.
Hopefully, your machine is threaded and ready to go with a matching thread, because I really can’t help you there.
B. Place fabric under foot with raw edges on the right, keeping sides lined together as you go. TIP* Run the fabric back and forth a few times at the beginning and end of each seam to make your skirt stronger and less likely to fray. Keep the raw edges of the panels in the same place all the way down the seam, about 3/4″ in. Cut threads.
Now, bring the side back to the same place you started the last seam, and go along it again using a zig-zag stitch. This will secure the threads and help your seams stay put. Do the same for the other pinned side.
After removing all the pins (as you sew or afterward), look at your seams and give yourself a little pat on the back. You win! You did it!
C. Let’s move on to the waist. for this edge, we’re going to do the zig-zag stitch first. Place the fabric, raw edge to the right, with just a scant 1/8th of an inch beyond the needle. We want that stitch to be as close to the edge as possible without going off. Cut threads.
Making sure the skirt is still RIGHT sides together (you should see all the seams on the outside) turn the top zig-zagged edge down towards you about 1″ or so and pin all the way around.
With fabric under the foot, folded edge to the right, sew a straight stitch completely around the waist. Unpin. Turn fabric right-side out (all seams should be on the inside now). Sew another seam about 1/4th of an inch away from the other seam towards the top edge of the waist. This strengthens the sewn edge of the waistband, so when you slide the drawstring back and forth a million times over the life of the skirt, it won’t come undone or fray.
D. Grab your no-fray sewing glue and some sharp pointy scissors.
Using the side seams as a guide, find the exact center of one panel, declare it the front, and cut a tiny slice in JUST THE FRONT OUTSIDE PANEL big enough for your bias tape and safety pin to go through. Put some drops of no-fray around the hole you just made, pushing it around all sides of the hole until ALL threads have been glued.
It doesn’t need to be thick, but it does need to reach every thread. You can wait for the glue to dry before proceeding, but I never do. It dries clear, so if it gets on the bias tape, it’s not really a big deal to me.
Slide on end of the bias tape on the safety pin, close, and push it into the hole.
If you’re right handed, you’re going to want to push it to the left side, scrunching as you go to work it all the way around. If you’re left handed, go to the right. When the pin makes it all the way around and back to the hole, push it out and pull the bias tape until both sides are the same length.
Tie a few knots on the ends to keep the tape from accidentally going back inside the waist casing.
Try it on! Dude! Did you know you rock? Way to go! At this point, you want to make sure the waist fits well (it should gather slightly all the way around) and that your drawstring is a good length (not too hangy, not too short). After that, check the length. Man, I need a pedicure.
E. Stand flat footed in front of a full-length mirror and see where the bottom hits you. If it’s about an inch or so too long, that is perfect. We’re going to use that much in the bottom hem. If it’s longer than that, You’re going to need to chop some off, leaving about an inch longer than you want the finished length to be. Go ahead if you need to do that. I’ll be here when you get back.
All good? Great! This is our last step before you look cute as a button. (Except you already do, I know that. The skirt just enhances your button-cuteness factor.)
F. We’re going to put a zig-zag stitch all along the edge of the bottom, just like we did for the waist. When that is finished, pin the bottom edge under about an inch all the way around. With the right side facing up and the folded edge on the right, sew a seam about 3/4″ inch in. Then go around again about 1/4″ towards the bottom.
Snip those threads, and YOU ARE DONE! Grab a drink and relax for the evening. Maybe watch the sunset. And then do the dishes. Or is that just me?
Take a photo, if you want, and send me a link to post!
Leahpeah's Tasty – Just Figs Fig Spread
FIGS!!!!!
I had to get that out at the beginning because my love for figs runs deep. When I was a child, we would eat figs in the summer at my Grandma and Grandpa’s home, along with crusty, buttered bread, dates, a little cheese and freshly cracked pecans straight from my Grandpa’s hands.
Figs are in season over the summer. I’ve found the first crop in the early summer tends to not be as sweet as the late July or early August figs. This is because the first crop is actually fruit from the tree growth that happened at the end of last season. The second crop of fruit is from the tree growth that happened this season. In my area, Southern California, we mostly see Black Mission or Brown Turkey figs.
You’re looking for a fig that is deep purple, soft and slightly squooshy but without broken skin. (Fun fact – did you know that figs are really the flower of the fig tree? The outer casing holds a kajillion flowers all mashed close together, creating the inside of the fig.) Buy one basket for every two people. Or buy a ton and freeze some to use through the winter. That’s what I do.
First, gently dump all your figs in a bowl, spritz with a little fruit wash and cover with water. Put your hand in there and swish them around a bit to get the dirt off. Take each fig and cut the stem off, check the bottom and remove the skin if it’s rough to the touch. Check the rest of the fig for blemishes or rough spots and remove. Some people remove the entire skin, but I like the flavor and texture of the whole fig.
Cut the fig lengthwise and drop in a clean bowl big enough to hold all the figs. Repeat over and over and over and over until all the figs are cleaned and sliced.
Take a large spoon and macerate/smash the figs just a bit. If your figs are nice and ripe, your should have a chunky pulp of purple skins and dark seeds with some reddish-orange-ish-brownish delicious meat. Cover the figs and put them in the fridge for at least 2 hours or overnight. This allows the natural sugars to come out and make the spread sweeter. If your figs are not very soft and ripe, sprinkle in about a teaspoon of sugar before refrigerating.
When you take the figs out, it should make you swoon when you look at them. Or is it just me? Use a large spoon to give them a few stirs and salivate. I’m going to assume that you’re eating a bit and freezing the rest, since that’s what I do and everyone in the world is just like me.
For what you want to eat right away, take a bowlful and use a fork to mash them a bit more, eyeballing it until you’re happy with the consistency. I try to get it looking like a thick preserve. Now, spread it on your buttered bread. Or grab some crackers and Mascarpone or Goat cheese and place a dollop of fig on top. YUMMY. Then lick your right hand, index finger, because you got a little on there and you don’t want to waste it. Cover remainder in an airtight container and it will keep for a few days.
Now, for the rest of ’em. Grab out your freezer ziplocks and a permanent marker.
Fold the top down about a third of the way to keep it clean and shovel in smashed figs, filling the bag about a third of the way. Squeeze the air out and close.
Lay the ziplock flat and begin spreading out with your fingers to the edges until you have an even layer of figs. Go ahead and mash them a little as you go. You’ll have a bit of air trapped inside, so open a tiny bit on one corner and squeeze out and close again.
If you’re going to be freezing figs a few times through the summer, mark the date on the bag so you know which bag to use first in the coming months. Continue until all the figs are in bags, then lay flat on freezer shelf.
To use a bag later, like in a few weeks, or a few days because you can’t wait any longer, remove bag from freezer and let thaw on the counter. Don’t microwave, as this somehow makes it over-juicy and unspreadable. But maybe do it if you want to drink some fig juice. Maybe in a smoothie?
After it’s thawed, remove from bag and put in a pretty bowl because you like to look at pretty things.
Mash with a fork until you like the look of it, and enjoy.
Maybe You Need a Painting!
Just like everyone else, we’re trying to get by over here at the ol’ homestead. If you have any wiggle room in your budget for high-quality paintings by an awesome person (that would be me) then NOW is the time, my friends, to buy my work. Use the links below to view the paintings, email me at my email and tell me which one you’d like and what your budget is, and I promise to work with you to make the sale happen. I prefer payment via Paypal. Really super-dooper GREAT deals if you buy today, Saturday or Sunday. (I’m working on adding the dimensions on all the paintings this afternoon or evening.)
Thanks for Hanging Out, Lily
Fan Mail
I rarely reply to or post email here from people that send me hate mail or very strongly worded You Suck mail or You are a Liar mail. I don’t post it because I don’t like to dwell on the negative and I feel like giving them any time on this blog gives it more life of its own and the negativity grows and there are so many other things to write about.
However, I’m making an exception for this one. I feel like it is born out of misunderstanding of what I’ve written or perhaps I didn’t do as good a job of explaining my process or how I navigated DID as I thought I did.
I’d love any feedback you might have on whether I need to go back and rewrite parts of my bio for a better explanation. Of course, if you’ve read my book, you’d know much more about what I did and how I did it, but if you haven’t read it, than maybe my bio doesn’t make sense.
Here is the email with my reply following.
Hello Leah,
I am a 39 year-old woman with D.I.D, and I am a psychiatric social worker who is very well educated on this topic. (Despite the knowledge base I do not treat those with dissociative disorders) I am responding to your biography which you have posted on your web site. I usually don’t comment about such things, but something your wrote leaves me feeling compelled to respond.
You wrote:
“In May, I’m released to the care of my sister and accept the terms of having to attend therapy. The hospital sets up my first appointment and I mistakenly go to see Dr. Clancy who has stopped seeing people with dissociative disorders. After speaking with me for an hour, he decides to make an exception and take me on as a client. He helps me see that my kids may have a use for me in their lives after all. In July, my divorce is final. I complete the integration process.”
You started therapy in May, and you finished the integration process in two months???????
I’m sorry, and I don’t mean any disrespect, but that is total bullshit and a great disservice to those of us who have been working years to overcome the trauma and torment which cased us to be dissociative. You write earlier that you were not aware of some things that you did (sex with strangers). If one is dissociative to the point of losing time, there is NO WAY that in 2 months integration is achieved. That defies explanation and is controverted by ALL of the clinical literature. If you are familiar with treatment of dissociative disorders then you know that this (lengthy and arduous )treatment is done in stages, the first of which often takes YEARS.
I mean no disrespect (although I appreciate that this might be hard to read and not feel disrespected) and I in no way mean to dismiss or downplay your struggles, but integration in 2 months? Am I missing something? How can someone who has been tormented (in an ongoing, severe and unrelenting way) to the point of a dissociative disorder integrate years of trauma and torture in 2 months? That’s ridiculous. Either you didn’t have a dissociative disorder or you are full of shit.
Wow. Pretty strong. I would have appreciated a more inquiring type of email as opposed to an accusatory one, but I don’t get to choose what kind of people are going to take issue with me, so there you go.
In my bio I write about how during 1990 thru 1995 I went through years of therapy and I worked towards integration during the times I (Leah) was aware of what was happening. Also, in the 2001 year I write about getting serious about getting well and journaling from all the personalities perspectives. That was all work towards integration as well. By the time I met Dr. Clancy, I knew exactly what I wanted and how I wanted to do it. And I did it because all my personalities were on the same page and wanted the same thing. I can give you Dr. Clancy’s info if you’d like to contact him regarding my process, although I can’t guarantee he would talk to you even though you say you are a psychiatric social worker. In the foreward to my book he tells how things happened with him and that is was highly unusual for us to reach integration so quickly.
I suppose I could make it more clear in my bio and make sure and use the phrases ‘towards integration’ and such, but I like it the way it reads now and don’t feel compelled to change it because someone I don’t know and have never corresponded with and have no way of knowing who they are tells me I’m full of bullshit.
One thing I’ve learned writing my new book and doing research for the work I do on Tara is that no two people’s experience of DID is the same. Everyone has their own sets of experiences that made them that way and their own sets of solutions they come up with to cope. Some people go to therapy their whole life, never to work through what happened. Some people become integrated. And some people go through things faster than others. I would not ever tell someone that their experience is bullshit because it is different than mine. I’ve met too many people with their own stories.
Thank you for sharing your perspective.
Have a nice day.
Apron Strings
“I’ll be back at Thanksgiving and I know it’s Dad’s holiday but I’ll come see you, too!” She spritzes herself with girl smells, maybe something fruity?, and checks her lip gloss in the visor mirror, then snaps it shut, shoves it back in place and turns her 100 watt smile at me. “Don’t worry!” she says, and grabs her iPod.
Traffic is light and the weather has been perfect for a quick road trip to Grandma’s. The premise is that my mom has a Bosch and a Kitchen Aid sitting in the basement and I get to borrow them for an indefinite amount of time. The reality is that I’m soaking up every last second of alone time I can before she leaves in August and becomes someone new again.
It’s one of those moments when the feeling in my chest becomes almost too big to hold and I’m bursting with emotion, a mix of happiness at who she is becoming and pride at her learning to love and accept her body as it is and worry that the world will take her emerging confidence and slap her down and love at everything she is and everything she was and everything she will be.
We talk about relationships and what the guys might be like at college. She tells me how she’s grown to love and appreciate her step-dad and that she can’t believe she was once so cold to him. She talks about her brothers and how she didn’t know she could love them so much and how she’s going to miss them. About how she’s been trying to spend time with everyone at home before she goes because when she comes back, everything will be different and it might never feel like home again. I know she’s right and that coming back home as a person with time experienced elsewhere with new friends and new places and new learning experiences that no one at home knows about changes you and you never feel like you quite fit in again until you make your own home. And it makes me sad and a few tears slip down my cheeks but I don’t stop smiling or singing along with her to Beyonce’s If I Were a Boy because really I’m so happy for her. And I cry.
“Mom!” she says. “Did I tell you what happened with T.? No? Oh my gosh, you have to hear this.” And she begins a tale of this boy and that girl and the beach and Los Angeles and New York and while she talks she uses her hands to text three friends back and forth and never pauses in the story, a few smiles on her lips when someone texts her something cute or flirty. And when she’s done with that story she seamlessly launches into a new one and although I don’t always understand everything that is happening or her reactions to some parts of what happened, I listen and listen and shake my head in agreement because it’s so fun to watch her animated gestures and listen to her dramatic voice. She’s on a stage and I’m her audience. But then she asks for my advice and suddenly, I find I do have something to say. And she accepts it, just like that. Mostly, I think, because it’s exactly what she already knew.
I watched her sing a few weeks ago at her graduation ceremony in front of the entire town.
Thousands of people. And she did it with confidence and sounded great. People whispered behind me that she sounded wonderful and I smiled a tiny smile, knowing she was my daughter. I imagine she could do that on a stage professionally someday. I wouldn’t be surprised. But I would probably be on pins and needles until she finished each performance, just like I was that day.
Suddenly, the mood changes in her and she searches her iPod for something upbeat and loud. She finds Avril’s Runaway and sings at the top of her lungs and her infectious energy fills the cabin and creates a glowing halo around the car that surely, everyone must be seeing. She’s practically hovering over her seat. She grabs the camera and begins to shoot random shots.
Then she decides to turn the camera in a circle and see what comes out, all the while singing and laughing.
Then she declares that shots taken of a rounding corner of the road are the prettiest.
Her mood elevates even more into a slap-happy stage where she makes silly jokes and funny faces at me until I’m laughing. And crying. But mostly laughing.
At Grandma’s she doesn’t go off to a corner and read a book or spend time sighing in obvious boredom as a teen is sometimes wont to do. Instead she sits by Grandma, who is showing me some new stitches, and asks if she could learn how to embroider, too. My mom whips out a dishcloth and sets her up with some thread and a needle, molding her amateur fingers into the most advantageous position. And my daughter sits at the table for a long time, learning how to keep the needle on top and how to make a pretty leaf and flower petal, only taking out her phone for texts a few times, smiling that small private smile. And I know she’ll remember this moment as one of the last before she grew into a full-fledged adult. She mentions to my mom that she wants to learn how to sew and had there been time, I’m sure she would have come home with a skirt made with her own hands and much coaching from Grandma.
I talk to my brother and his wife and for a moment, look up and find she’s gone. I look in the backyard and there she is, swinging on the small swings where many years ago she used to pose for me and ask me to take her picture, her blond streaked hair in ringlets being blown in the wind and her small mouth and tiny teeth and one leg posed this way and one arm posed that way. “Take one this way.” she’d say with a little lisp. She’s going higher and higher and looks up to the sky and her eyes tell the story of someone trying to capture a moment long ago and put it in a bottle for later, when she needs a pick-me-up. And I remember her at sixteen and fourteen and wonder what twenty will look like.
Back in the car on the way home and she’s somewhat serious. She’s contemplating how a good relationship works and where and what she wants to be in the future. She asks me if I know what she’s talking about and yes, I do. She wants me to share back with her some things that are hard for me. So, I do. And I tell her things I wouldn’t normally mention but it feels right right now, at this moment. And she comforts me and gives me advice and I’m amazed by her depth and wisdom at such a young age. And I realize most of it is the same advice I gave her yesterday and I’m glad she’s said it because now I know she knows it. And that’s a comfort.
Then out comes the sunshine on her face and she’s ready for some Kelly Clarkson. We sing together at the top of our lungs, complete with hand gestures and mannerisms in a choreography we created five or six years ago, often looking at each other and trying not to laugh when I sing a bad note. And I know that this is the moment I’ll tuck away in my heart in a tiny pocket that is reserved for when I miss her. This memory will get me through some days when I long to hold her and whiff her hair and smell that girl smell, fruity, and watch her telling me about this guy or that girl and what happened next. And I’ll take it out and remember her on that day and cry a little. And be happy.
Where in the World is Leah Peadiego?
I’ve been busy. Doing……stuff. Like making lists of things I want to do. I’ve been just a little manic for the past weeks and I’m just doing and doing and doing. I took some photos to show you, but the light is really bad today, so pretend you like them that way, k? And so, in list form –
STUFF I DID
LIVING ROOM
Recovered throw pillows for couch and hung photos over the couch
Sewed an ottoman cover
Made paper birds for a grape vine flower drier
Procured and organized matching baskets holding electronic equipment under TV, hung rug from my father that he hung for 35 years in his medical office
MASTER BEDROOM
Sewed bed skirt
Sewed TV table cover
Decorated walls with photos and nicknacks
Recovered throw pillows for bed and hung painting
Went through clothes and organized closet
Found a solution to organize my purses and bags
Sewed throw blanket
Still in progress – quilt for bed, paint end tables
BEDROOMS
Framed and hung photos and paintings
Rescued and cleaned up dresser
KITCHEN
Organized pantry
Organized shelves
Created desk area for myself
OTHER
Painted Welcome sign for front door
Created calender to keep track of my neurosis
Went through and organized linens
Planted rose bush cuttings from my Mom’s rose garden in Utah
Planted flower seeds for a cutting garden
Made baby quilt for friend and actually quilted it
Went through all photos and organized by kid
Recovered cheap and ugly photo albums with awesome paper
Did maintenance on the van
Went through papers and created files (should help with taxes next year)
Organized art room supplies
Worked on a painting
FUN FACTS
I had 6 doctor appointments and spent $2154 on office visits and medications in six weeks
While decorating, I spent about 120$ on everything including fabrics for the house and saved money by using a table cloth, a sheet a few tapestry panels and 2 window panels I already owned.
Haven’t had any alcohol since April 26th
Related -We own a buttload of cocktail/beer glasses
Switched to decaff
I own 26 pairs of scissors
Started new medication, Lamictal
Started making my bed for the first time since 1997
I’m having fun doing embroidery
Find Me in the Wild
The True Mom Confessions book came out a few weeks ago and this Wednesday I’ll be reading my confession in front of a room full of people around 7:30 pm at Village Books along with some other lovely ladies. If you’ve ever wondered what I look like in my natural environment, please come down and take a gander. (It should be fun!)
Now Shhhh
“Now shhhhhhhh,” she says, “you’ve said it all once and now you’re repeating yourself. It’s time to listen to someone with some age on her bones.”
I tried to stop the pointless murmuring coming from my lips and tune into her voice. The phone was slippery against my wet cheek and I pushed it closer to block out the sound of my brain.
“Now, you listen to me. Life is hard. It’s hard for everyone and if it wasn’t this it would be something else. The trick is to be thankful for your own set of troubles because believe you me, you don’t want someone else’. Yes, you’ve got it hard and I know it. Your mother knows it. And I get so mad when I think of all the things we need answers for that we don’t have here on this earth.”
“But, Gramma, how come you can call me on the phone? You aren’t alive.” I held my breath and waited for her answer.
“Don’t worry about that. The important thing is that you can hear me. So, listen up. Now, I know God has a plan and He loves you very much. You are a strong and beautiful person and a treasure to me, Grandpa, your parents, your family – even those that have gone on before.”
“But, Gramma, I don’t believe in all that church stuff. I don’t believe there is some plan. I have no idea what happens when we die but I don’t think it’s that churchy stuff.”
“You can go on thinking whatever you want. And I’ll keep telling you what the truth is. Now, here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to look in the mirror and tell yourself that your Grandma loves you more than you’ll ever know. Next you’ll tell yourself that your Grandma knows you can do whatever it is you have to do. And that you’re strong. And special. I know! You don’t believe it about yourself but you DO believe that your Grandma does. So, you just keep repeating that. Your Grandma knows and she loves you. And I can’t touch you right now but you better believe that if I could I’d be squeezing the stuffing out of you. And that will have to do.”
And then I woke up.
Who Doesn't Love a New Sharpie?
