It’s December 22, 2016. I’ve just written my mom an email. The contents of this email include me breaking her heart. I’ve thought of a dozen reasons not to write it and fought with myself about it for over two months but at the end of this day, I will go to sleep knowing she […]
This past year or so I’ve been trying to find the gifts in whatever life hands me. When I’m stuck in traffic, maybe it’s that I got to hear something really great on NPR before I reached my destination. If I dropped and shattered a favorite heirloom glass serving bowl, maybe it’s that when I […]
Let me set the scene for you. We’re sitting on the couch, my husband and I, my nose buried in his shoulder. I’m weeping, beside myself with a ball of grief and failure burning through my chest like fire, wiping snot on his arm, making noises that are approximations of words, but no one can […]
I love this time of year, I said, in super serious sincerity. Jeans. Boots. Chunky sweaters. (HAHAHAHAHAhahahaha just kidding. It hasn’t been lower than 75 and it’s going to be 93 on Friday.) Hot drinks make more sense (because I drink them even in the sweltering heat of summer). Less people at the beach, which […]
I had the experience the other day of being in a room full of people who are similar to me in many ways. It’s a new feeling for me to be in a group I truly identify with. This is happening to me more and more as I seek to spend my time doing only […]
Like many people, I was raised in a religious home. And like many people, I then grew up, made choices for myself, and decided I didn’t want to be a part of that religion any longer. This story is not unique by any means. A byproduct of growing up in a highly religious environment is […]
Here’s some clouds from Southern Utah. You’re welcome. That place is incredibly beautiful. I mean: I joke with Joe that we should go live there and by “joke” I mean “semi-serious” and by “semi-serious” I mean how about in two years or so. Poor Joe. I think part of my joke-not-joking is that we had […]
Before the cars start zipping by at such a pace and before the sound of people walking the street outside my window and chatting hurriedly about what I’m sure are important things fills my ears, there is the sound of birds. My eyes open and through the glass door I see darkness, but not real […]
When my kids were young, when we first came back from Germany, when my marriage to the other guy was being held together with tape and googly eyes, when I couldn’t breathe, when I couldn’t think, when I wasn’t on meds and needed them badly, when I was dissociating, I took the kids to the […]
Turning 43 has just helped reinforce what I felt when I turned 42 – I’m so happy in my 40s. I love it here! My brain works well, my physical body has never been healthier and I no longer worry so much about what other people think about me. That has been a long time […]
You guys. Here we have – weird orange cloud cover, flowering Dogwoods, early(EARLY) Spring in San Diego, and date night with my husband. It’s pretty much as good as when you peel an orange and you get those little baby slices in there and you’re all hey! Baby orange slices!
Joe and I were walking around in the Gaslamp under a crazy orange cloud cover and there was the Hotel St. James sign, glowing like ice on fire in fog.