• health,  Health & Wellness,  lupus,  that joe,  true love

    Your Body Is Not Your Enemy

    Let me set the scene for you. We’re sitting on the couch, my husband and I, my nose buried in his shoulder. I’m weeping, beside myself with a ball of grief and failure burning through my chest like fire, wiping snot on his arm, making noises that are approximations of words, but no one can know for sure. I have auto-immune issues that after several years of being in remission have reared their ugly head starting sometime last December and have now flared with the vengeance of a fifteen-year-old girl who lost her cellphone privileges and is punishing her parents. I can’t sit very long without pain. I can’t stand…

  • Grain-Free Cooking,  Heal Something Good,  health,  kids,  photos,  recipe,  that joe,  Wellness Retreat

    Random Piecings + My Basic Green Smoothie Recipe

    Here’s some clouds from Southern Utah. You’re welcome. That place is incredibly beautiful. I mean: I joke with Joe that we should go live there and by “joke” I mean “semi-serious” and by “semi-serious” I mean how about in two years or so. Poor Joe. I think part of my joke-not-joking is that we had such an incredible time doing the retreat there a few weeks ago. The entire event was just amazing. I really felt so, oh, I don’t know the right words, it was so big what I felt. But some good words are Useful and On Task and Meaningful and Just Right. And when you feel all…

  • health,  mental health,  san diego

    This Thursday’s Meetup Class – Managing Mental Health

    This week’s class is super close to my heart. With all the “getting-well” I’ve been doing these past three years, managing how my brain is responding to the changes I’m making has been sometimes challenging but mostly exciting. I’m really looking forward to this week’s group and going in more depth about the process I’ve used and what might work for others. Getting your head on straight goes hand-in-hand with healing the other parts of your body, especially your gut. See you there? PS. The photo above reminds me of what it feels like when I’m trying to find the direction I want to go with my life. This way?…

  • book,  Heal Something Good,  health,  lupus,  mental health,  photos,  thyroid

    Pre-Order Heal Something Good

    You guys. I’m oh-so-close to being done with Heal Something Good, the book I’ve been working on for the past three years. This has been a labor of love. My last book, Not Otherwise Specified, was such a deep journey of mental discovery that I would never call it “Light” or “Nurturing.” I mean, the subject matter includes suicide attempts and graphic material. It’s an important book for what it is and I continue to get letters of appreciation from people who have found it helpful on their own journeys, which is why I leave it up and available. But. But! Heal Something Good is light and nurturing and full…

  • flawed but authentic,  health,  lupus,  mental health,  photos,  thyroid

    What I Am

    “But, what do you have? What are you?” Oh, right. This is the part where I’m supposed to list all the illnesses and diseases and disorders I’ve collected over my lifetime and use their proper medical terms. This is how we measure each other up, to find out where we fall in the Diagnosis Scale. Are we the same? Are we different? If I told you, would you have an immediate recognition of how I feel right now because you’ve got “IT,” too? Using this shorthand is not meant to be insulting or belittling. It’s meant to cut to the chase and find out where your battle scars are. It’s…

  • current smarts,  health,  lupus,  mental health

    Creatively, Mentally, Fabulous

    We’ve heard many times that it’s the crazy ones that are creative and there are studies that may seem to prove such findings. A post came up a few months ago by Scott Barry Kaufman about the link between creativity and Mental Illness. He has a book out called Ungifted, which may tell you without reading the post above what he thinks is true about said link. Here’s a main takeaway: “There are many eminent people without mental illness or harsh early life experiences, and there is very little evidence suggesting that clinical, debilitating mental illness is conducive to productivity and innovation.” And later: “…my colleague and friend Zorana Ivcevic…

  • health,  lupus,  mental health

    Speaking near Salt Lake City on Dec. 19, 2013

    I’ll be speaking on healing our bodies and minds holistically in Orem, Utah next week. I’m really excited to share what I’ve learned these past three years. When I started this journey, I had no idea how intricately our mind and bodies were connected and how healing our guts and changing our lifestyles could change how our minds worked and felt. Healing from a chronic illness is no joke and I know many of you struggle with it. If you can make it, I’d love to meet you face to face. Email me for details. xo Photo by Karen Walrond of Chookooloonks.com

  • health,  lupus,  that joe,  true love

    Remission

    Take me to the beach, I whispered, silky soft in his ear. He wrapped me in his warmth beneath the covers. I need to see the waves in every shade of green and blue and frothy white, I told his mind without uttering a sound. He padded down the hall, got his sandals, keys. We drove five miles, wind whistling through the vent, the heater waking up. Ocean water swirled and raced, bubbled, then calmed and went away. Surfers danced on ten foot waves through the pilings, praying their religion under the pier. We watched. Grit between my toes, pulling my sweater close, I took a breath and then another.…

  • blessings,  family,  health,  lupus,  mental health,  that joe

    5/12/11

    Today was a low day. A very low day. In another life, today would have been the day I decided things were too hard to bear and so bleak I’d never see the blue skies again. I would have left my OBGYN results appointment (from the same woman who raked me internally) knowing she wants me to get my uterus biopsied because she thinks it’s precancerous and knowing she wants me to get on birth-control pills and remembering how she called me a liar just moments before when I showed her my daily food logs and exercise chart, because I’m fat, so I must not be telling her the truth.…

  • daily log,  health,  lupus,  photos

    5/9/11

    Monday, May 9 PS 7/10 Sluggish. Headache. Ache all over. Sad lower back. 7:20am 2 boiled eggs, hot drink I feel like you feel when your period is going to start in a few days. 10:30 App with Dr. K for official 2nd opinion from rheumatologist. I like her take on things the best so far. She confirms the diagnosis but tries to cheer me up. This will be more like you were in the room if you imagine her saying it in her great Indian accent: “So, yes, you have lupus and that is maybe hard news. But, because you are sub-acute, we can think of it like you…

  • daily log,  health,  lupus,  photos

    5/8/11

    Sunday, May 8th Happy Mother’s Day. PS 6/10 Lower back, arms ACHING bad, headache. Feel sluggish but mood is still good. 8am 2 boiled eggs, coffeechicorymilk 10am Meet M & M for breakfast at Mission Cafe. It’s Mother’s Day so Wheee I’ll have whatever I want. Blueberry pancakes, egg, potatoes, coffeemilk We decide to go to see Win Win but see Kill the Irishman instead. Gory. Great acting, what I saw of it through my fingers. I have a palmful of raw cashews during the film. We head to M&Ms for mellow hangout time. 3pm Beer, watermelon, dates 6pm whole wheat noodles, mozz cheese, basil, pine nuts YUMO 8pm half…

  • daily log,  health,  lupus,  photos

    5/7/11

    Saturday, May 7th Joe went to OC. PS 4/11 Good morning. Feel positive and energetic 8am Boiled egg, coffeechicorymilk Called M. Meeting her in Kensignton for brunch. M says I look good. I feel good. I decide to splurge. 11am waffle butter syrup coffee milk We peruse the neighborhood for shelves and find some Little Debbie snack wire shelves that I love for 7$. I hit the Container Store on the way home for a few paper boxes. 2pm pure bar, white tea I’m feeling good and having so much fun cleaning the shelves and sorting paperwork, I don’t think about making sure I eat and drink enough. I did…