• blessings,  that joe

    Good Mornings

    Before the cars start zipping by at such a pace and before the sound of people walking the street outside my window and chatting hurriedly about what I’m sure are important things fills my ears, there is the sound of birds. My eyes open and through the glass door I see darkness, but not real darkness, because the light is just beginning to touch the edges of the deep purple, slumbering, predawn sky. I see patches of it through the trees. Little scattered spots of light that begin to form deep blue then gray then light blue if I wait long enough, while the leaves of the trees turn from…

  • blessings,  photos,  writing

    Life Textures

    It would be easy to say as things get older they automatically go towards entropy like moths to a flame in the witching hour. But the truth is, the easy answer isn’t always the true answer and where entropy is falling a little closer towards chaos and disorder every moment, we actually keep following along the perfect arc towards the inevitable, sure, but it isn’t chaos. It’s exactly what’s supposed to happen next. If I had to narrow down and categorize all the things I’ve done in the past three years that have made a huge difference in my life and just pick one to share with you, one thing…

  • blessings,  friends,  photos

    Marci and Delaney

    I had the good fortune to spend the afternoon with Marci and her two lovely daughters plus a group of the nicest women you’ve ever met a few weeks back. (Fun fact – I actually realized I knew some of them from years ago and it was so nice to see them again!) Marci’s friends threw her a Girl Shower, all about how great it is to be a girl. Everything was pink and floral and the weather was perfect. It was such a lovely day. This is my favorite shot from all 600+ shots I took. (I know! So many! But little girls are pretty and fun and everything…

  • blessings,  family,  friends,  kids,  photos,  that joe

    Birthday Blue Orchids

    Turning 43 has just helped reinforce what I felt when I turned 42 – I’m so happy in my 40s. I love it here! My brain works well, my physical body has never been healthier and I no longer worry so much about what other people think about me. That has been a long time coming. For my birthday this year, my daughter, her fiance, my son and my husband all put on a game night in my building’s rec center. Some of my friends and extended family showed up and we hung out and played games. It was completely low-key and perfect. I may have made about 10-gallons of…

  • blessings,  family,  health,  lupus,  mental health,  that joe

    5/12/11

    Today was a low day. A very low day. In another life, today would have been the day I decided things were too hard to bear and so bleak I’d never see the blue skies again. I would have left my OBGYN results appointment (from the same woman who raked me internally) knowing she wants me to get my uterus biopsied because she thinks it’s precancerous and knowing she wants me to get on birth-control pills and remembering how she called me a liar just moments before when I showed her my daily food logs and exercise chart, because I’m fat, so I must not be telling her the truth.…

  • blessings,  family,  photos

    Fin 2010

    This past year has turned out to be quite something, no? Here is the family on Thanksgiving Day. Joe’s wonderful mom Phyllis made a graceful adieu in October. You could not have asked for a better mother-in-law or friend. We spent much of 2010 initially getting to know each other and eventually sharing inside jokes. Having never been a morning show person, I was amused sometime during the summer when I realized that watching Regis and Kelly and then Hoda and Kathie Lee with Phyllis were the best hours of the morning. Actually, I guess watching her watch them was the fun part. Phyllis got a kick out of everything.…

  • blessings,  family,  friends,  mental health

    Humongous Thank You

    Friends, I can’t express how much your notes, emails, texts, messages, love, support and prayers have meant to me this past week. Joe printed everything out and brought them to me in the hospital. Every night it was like a surge of encouragement to work hard and keep going. My meds are still being fine-tuned. I’m a little up and down. I occasionally get a wave of hopelessness that dissipates in a few minutes, but the lithium is definitely making a difference. I’m not quite ready to jump back into regular life, but I am sticking a few toes in. I would be dead if it wasn’t for Joe. He…

  • blessings

    Short Update

    We went to San Diego for a vacation. We have family and good friends there along with beaches and so many things we love. It was a wonderful trip. Everything went smashingly. We were lazy and slept and read and relaxed and drank gin and beer and ate wonderful food. I’m almost afraid to talk about it in case it changes the past. Or something. And then we came home to Virginia and it was good to be in my own bed and watch the fireflies dancing. My mother-in-law put catnip in Bas’ bed and he is now mostly crazy and very, very happy. We had great baked potatoes, good…

  • blessings,  in the car,  kids,  photos

    Apron Strings

    “I’ll be back at Thanksgiving and I know it’s Dad’s holiday but I’ll come see you, too!” She spritzes herself with girl smells, maybe something fruity?, and checks her lip gloss in the visor mirror, then snaps it shut, shoves it back in place and turns her 100 watt smile at me. “Don’t worry!” she says, and grabs her iPod. Traffic is light and the weather has been perfect for a quick road trip to Grandma’s. The premise is that my mom has a Bosch and a Kitchen Aid sitting in the basement and I get to borrow them for an indefinite amount of time. The reality is that I’m…

  • blessings,  hard!!,  mental health

    Now Shhhh

    “Now shhhhhhhh,” she says, “you’ve said it all once and now you’re repeating yourself. It’s time to listen to someone with some age on her bones.” I tried to stop the pointless murmuring coming from my lips and tune into her voice. The phone was slippery against my wet cheek and I pushed it closer to block out the sound of my brain. “Now, you listen to me. Life is hard. It’s hard for everyone and if it wasn’t this it would be something else. The trick is to be thankful for your own set of troubles because believe you me, you don’t want someone else’. Yes, you’ve got it…