• ask leahpeah,  race

    White Privilege

    When I wrote my guide for white people about systemic racism, the main feedback I’ve received in emails and direct messages from white people is some variation of, “I’m not racist. Stop calling me that. My life was/is hard. I don’t have white privilege.” There’s a big misconception out there of what it means to have white privilege. Having white privilege is not a “bad” thing. It is a responsibility. I tell you this with all the love in my heart, white people. Here’s how you know if you have white privilege: Are you white? Do you have white skin? If the answer is yes = you have white privilege.…

  • ask leahpeah,  lupus,  mental health,  store

    From the Mailbag

    Here is a precious letter from a reader I’ve been hanging on to for a bit, holding it close and letting it fester. It says so many things that I secretly think in my dark hours that it’s almost like this person just reached inside my deepest fears and pulled it out. I’m usually so disciplined about ignoring meanies (especially while United States of Tara airs. Man, my tribe of the Mentally Ill folks can be cruel.) but when my confidence is low, it’s hard to just move through it. “you know no one reads your blog anymore, right? god your writing is all over the place. You used to…

  • ask leahpeah,  United States of Tara

    Ask Leahpeah, United States of Tara Edition

    Did you meet Steven Spielberg? Sadly, no. That is definitely something I would have mentioned on my blog and elsewhere had it happened. What was it like to work with Toni Collette? I’m sure it’s great. I didn’t actually meet her, either. I really always went through Diablo Cody. Were your transitions between alters as dramatic as those depicted in the show? Are they always a complete personality change, or can it be more subtle, like a mood swing? I’m not sure what you mean by dramatic. I haven’t noticed any head twisting or body convulsions during the switch, which is how I think most people assume it is like.…

  • art,  ask leahpeah,  group painting,  interviews

    Ask Leahpeah, A Collaboration Letter

    Dear Leah, Your interviews rock! – I love your interviews! – Are you still doing interviews? – Why aren’t you still doing interviews? – Will you interview me? – Why won’t you interview me? – I know someone that would be a great interviewee! – If you don’t interview me, I’m going to tell everyone you wet the bed. Sincerely/Best Wishes/Warm Regards/Love/Later, Your Readers Dear Ones, Thank you for your email! Thank you for liking the interviews! I’m sorry, I won’t interview you, even though you are AWESOME and INTERESTING!! This is not because I don’t like you or think you are pretty. Because I do. And I like your…

  • ask leahpeah,  kids,  mental health

    Ask Leahpeah

    From my email: Hi Leah. I have a daughter that is 9 and a son that is 7. They are beautiful and smart. In fact, that is why I’m writing you. They are so smart that I think they are catching on. I can’t always make sure I am the safe adult parent when they are around. Not that any of my personalities are mean or harmful. If that was true, I would have given them up a long time ago. It’s just that some of my personalities are not as helpful for kids or able to take care of them as well, if you know what I mean. And…

  • ask leahpeah,  mental health

    Ask Leahpeah

    Question from the comments: Hi Leah, This isn’t about knitting, actually. My name is Caitlin and I’ve been reading your site for the past few months. Sorry for lurking, I just never know how to say hi. Hi! Probably just like that. I have not experienced multiple personalities but I have experienced a lot of what you describe in your archives, which I hope you don’t mind that I read. It helps so much to know that there are people out there with lives that are just fine who suffer in some of the same ways I do. I have always been fascinated by your blog tagline: “Flawed but authentic.”…

  • ask leahpeah,  general

    Ask Leahpeah

    Dear Leah Peah, I watched Medium last night. Did you know it was back on? And Heroes, your Beloved, is off for a long few more weeks. I bet you are dying. You watch too much tv. It’s rotting your brain. Signed, Anon. Dearest Anon, So nice to hear from you, Sunshine! I do so appreciate you keeping tabs on my television watching. Alas, you are a few weeks behind. I haven’t had time to watch anything, as my domestic handiwork has taken over. And yes, I was aware that Heroes was off and would continue to be off for a few more weeks. *sigh* But I’m never too busy…

  • ask leahpeah,  book,  interviews,  photos,  that joe

    Top Three Questions in My Inbox

    Variations of #1: I thought you were from Utah? Are you in Missouri? Where did you grow up? Did your parent’s move? Answer: I did not go to Missouri, although there is nothing wrong with that. Some of my favorite people live in Missouri. My parents have not moved and still live in Utah, where I went to visit them. Now I am happy to be home. Variations of #2: What are you working on? Is it a secret? Did you get a new job yet? What did you decide to do with your life? Where are you working? Do you remember me? I wrote you last year. Tell me…

  • ask leahpeah,  blessings,  book,  hard!!,  mental health,  writing

    Good Days

    I wake up in the morning and before I even open my eyes, there it is: a weight resting squarely on my chest. I cautiously feel around my thoughts to see what this weight is before jumping to conclusions. It’s possible that I just had a bad dream. Oh, right. I’m just not quite awake yet. Sometimes when I first wake up, I have left over thoughts flying around in my mind. And some of them could be left over from years and years ago. They are just shadows, tiny endings of experiences that hurt me or things that made me very sad. But they aren’t happening right now and…

  • ask leahpeah,  book,  hard!!,  mental health

    Hey There, Y'all

    I got an email from China (a woman, not the place) who asked me to write about what a bad day felt like to me. She didn’t think that my bad days could be anywhere near as bad as hers because she feels so bad that she “just can’t think or feel or she might die.” I wrote back that it wasn’t a contest of any kind but if she wanted, in a few weeks, I would write about what a bad day felt like to me. I have a bad day one or two times a month. This is what they feel like to me. I also have lots…

  • ask leahpeah,  book,  hard!!,  mental health,  writing

    Bad Days

    I wake up in the morning and before I even open my eyes, there it is. That weight laced with desperation. That sinking feeling that tells me nothing is ever going to get better and I might as well just give up now. Give up at what, I’m not really sure. Not that it matters. I contemplate actually opening my eyes. But what is the point of that? Why would I want to see things better? Smarter just to lay here and try my best not to listen. And definitely not see, think. Anything. Maybe I can go back to sleep. It’s only 5:15am. Plenty of time to sink back…