• true love,  writing

    Home

                  The full length of you -tighter get even closer please – Along the full length of me Our backs pressed like wood Notched, planed, sanded to fit Worked over by life And the wars we won Even if we lost Because we survived And the wars ongoing That threaten to destroy But sound more like a growly puppy When we stand together Like flooring where the seams disappear Not because they’re perfect But because they are Love My heart listening Your heart beating Our blood circulating First through you Then winding inside me Like a river bringing life to a desert long parched Then back…

  • writing

    After the Drought

    The first bit I wrote after the drought where my words were stuck past my teeth down my sore throat weak from loneliness deep into crevices under my ribs and ribboning around my heart in ways that hung the truth was a piece about how love stomped down the barbed wire fence in just enough places to let myself walk over curious in my boots among the sheep to kick down rocks and boulders like a bear who knows better than to keep sleeping so he wakes up and uses his ferocious voice to unplug the dam which lets the waters flow then builds a boat and heaps it with…

  • politics,  race

    Accidental Racism, Intentional Activism

    Previously posted at Medium here. This is possibly one of the most complicated things I’ve ever written. That’s not because I shy away from tough subjects. I’ve been writing online since 2002, contributed to books and other publications, and written two of my own books discussing things like religion, politics, and mental illness. This is more complicated than all of those because going deep into my history to look at things I’ve always viewed one way, but now realize the very foundation I grew from, and have stood atop, is different than I knew, different than I counted on to support me, is understandably scary. My people are religious, conservative,…

  • activistm,  video

    Viral Facebook Post – Hi There, White Friends

    This post went viral on Facebook. As I post this, the counts are: 10.4k+ shares, 3.4k+ comments, and 20k+ reactions. Here is the full text. At the bottom you’ll see a video where I answer some of the most common questions that came my way in response to this post. __________ Hi there, white friends. I want to talk to you for just a minute and I’m going to be using the CAPS to highlight, not to yell. I see you out there, marching and trying to be better than you were last year, last month, last week, yesterday. I see you trying to figure out how to be an…

  • family,  Gratitude,  Kickstarter

    Example Letter – Phyllis

    Update: I’ve moved my campaign to GoFundMe! Welcome. You’ve probably heard of the campaign I’m running over on Kickstarter for my new book, Unconventional Gratitude. It’s a collection of letters to important women in my life and a reminder to look for ways to overcome getting caught in the downward swirl of depression in these trying times. So, if you’re sitting unshowered in your jimmy-jams on the couch unable to make sense of the world outside, but you did get to eat a donut sometime earlier, so at least you have that going for you – this book is for you. I’m the last person to take your hard-earned money…

  • Gratitude,  Kickstarter

    Kickstarter: The Unconventional Gratitude Book!

    UPDATE: This Kickstarter did not successfully fund. Please join me at the new location of this project: on GoFundMe. _____ Do you like making the best out of a terrible situation (after you’re done feeling crappy and working through your feelings)? Then, have I got a book for you! Unconventional Gratitude is my way of saying thank you to many important women in my life. You might know some of them! My gratitude to them is interwoven with my life story in something called an epistolary memoir, which sounds lofty, but which is, in fact, just me trying to find an excuse to come to a city near you and…

  • politics,  religion,  that joe

    Bisexual White American Female

    It’s December 22, 2016. I’ve just written my mom an email. The contents of this email include me breaking her heart. I’ve thought of a dozen reasons not to write it and fought with myself about it for over two months but at the end of this day, I will go to sleep knowing she knows the truth. The peace I feel from that thought engulfs me and I hit send. ***** I’m eight. I was just baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I’ve been waiting for this day because ever since I can remember, I’ve been promised that on this day, the…

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  • politics

    When Donald Trump Wins

    So. Donald Trump won. He won the first time with a little help from his friends and he won a second time when the Electoral College cast their votes today. That image is from when Pennsylvania voted. Just a stream of sad and mad emojis for 45 minutes across my screen. This is our reality now. We’re living in the Trump America Reality Show. And we all have to take responsibility for it, especially if you’re a white, straight American. And I say that knowing full-well that no non-white American would think otherwise, because they have known for, oh, always, that they have to show up and fight. They haven’t…

  • How-To,  observed,  politics

    Communication 101

    Growing up, my mom sat down with us every few months and taught us a new principle of conversation. It should be noted that I did not like these meetings. I wanted to watch Scooby Doo, but it was a requirement, and so I tried to quiet my interrupting voice and keep my fidgeting limbs still so I could learn about things like Reflective Listening and the Broken Record technique. To have a conversation means to give and receive words, ideas, views, thoughts, and feelings. If I look objectively on what happens on Facebook, other social media platforms, and often in person, we aren’t having many conversations. We do a…

  • politics

    Onward – Day 20

    MARMALADE I come to the beach Heart deflated Breath flat and simple. I sit on the dune Waves smashing Sun bronze and dipping. I watch the pelicans Wings beating Formations ebb and flow. I soak in burnt color God’s palette Marmalade and scarlet red. I brush sand off my feet Soul infused Life fat and possible. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ We’re on day #20 since we, the Americans, voted to put Trump in office this coming term. These past twenty days have felt like a gut-punch mixed with some invaluable family time, and a steep learning curve of about 50 degrees.…

  • race,  religion

    A Mormon Speaking Out

    Buckle up. It’s a long one. Since the day of the election, I have been looking for prominent LDS people who are speaking out against what’s happening as Trump puts highly questionable people in his cabinet and violence has erupted around the country in his name. I feel pretty alone in being an LDS member and wanting to speak out about what’s happening. And with the exception of an absolutely beautiful piece by my new friend Jennifer Borget, who is a Mormon and also a Black woman, I can only find very few talking about it. The church put out its official statement, just like they do every election year,…